Why does my therapist stare at my hands?

Apparently therapists are staring at people's hands.

As a therapist, I get asked this question quite a lot and understandably it makes people feel creeped out and overly watched. Lily, why does my therapist stare at my hands?

Selfishly I want to stand myself apart from anything that would creep someone out. But because I work online, I don't have the capacity to stare at people's hands. Even though it's true that this may creates another set of problems in which I can only stare at someone's face and shoulders and maybe their cat when I'm lucky enough for their cat to come and join the session to have a group therapy session. So for me, I'm stuck looking at people's faces, and I often wonder, is this even better?

The question becomes, is it not creepier to stare at somebody's face?

Face to face therapists have the ability to look at a person's entire body language.

This is the premise of the ongoing debate whether face to face therapy is better than online therapy. Meaning, is face to face

therapy better because we can not only be in the same room as each other, but the therapist can see the entire body language of a person?

But back to the main question - why does my therapist stare at my hands?

A therapist is most likely staring at someone's hands for two reasons.

One, because it gives them a break from staring at someone's face, which is arguably worse. Your therapist can take in your entire body language instead.

Which, two, the hands is a really good place to look at because the hands express feelings and body language. They articulate and emphasize. Are the hands not a great place

to get insight into another person?

Therapy is all about getting to know you, deepening your self awareness and exploring. Your therapist is looking at your hands as a way in which to understand you. Is it not a nice place to look, giving your face a little bit of a break? Arguably, it's creepier.

What do you think? Where is the best place for your therapist to look when you are face to face and both online?

Written by Lily Llewellyn

March 12th 2025