Not being in the mood for therapy is common! You may have needed to come straight from work to your session and are still in work mode. It may be your day off and you've actually been enjoying the morning in the sun. You may have not had the chance to think about therapy all week and can't remember the ins and outs of why you contacting a therapist in the first place. You may just plain not want to deep dive into your circumstance that day. Naturally, life happens.
While not being in the mood for therapy may not be anything to unpack, there are things to think about when this happens often. And there are certainly things to do to make sure you still get the most out of your session...
Tell your therapist
Tell your therapist you're not in the mood that day. This helps them to understand where you're at in the session and also helps to keep things open and honest. Don't make them try to figure out if things are different when you could just tell them you're not in the head space. They won't be offended!
Push through
How many times have I heard clients say they're not in the mood at the beginning of a session only to say they feel they nonetheless used the session well at the end! Super common. Just push through. Start talking and see what comes up. Being open and willing is a great way to approach a session because you are literally willing to explore. It's SO common that you'll make use of your session anyway. Don't get too caught up in it all.
Explore why
Despite this, you may be reluctant to explore in therapy and might feel you're not getting the most out of sessions as a result. This is worth thinking about. What it is about therapy that you step away from? Are you not feeling able right now? Are you resistant to your therapist and the type of therapy they offer? What are the block?
Again - or maybe it's nothing so sinister! Maybe there's something you commonly do before your therapy session that causes you to close off or at least not want to open up. It's worth exploring how to get in the right mood.
Is it time to stop or take a break?
It's worth mentioning - consistently being in the wrong mood to explore in therapy, or being reluctant to the session isn't a good sign. You don't want to be using your sessions poorly (especially if you're paying out of pocket) and your therapist doesn't want this for you either. You may not be in the right head space to use the sessions properly OR you may not have anything that needs exploring anymore. It could be.
Either way, don't be shy to consider the option to either stop therapy or to take a break.
Written by Lily Llewellyn
20th March 2023
Lily is a psychotherapist trained and educated in person-centred counselling to master's level and achieved an MA in anthropology. Her areas of interest include our relationships with ourselves and others as well as the ways in which we relate to objects, such as food and money, and activities, such as shopping and work.
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