You certainly didn't come to therapy to feel worse! Therapy should absolutely not make you feel worse, and it sounds quite horrible if this is happening to you because you've trusted therapy and your therapist to help making positive change! If over time you feel worse than you did before you entered therapy, something has gone wrong and needs changing.
It's true that you may be disappointed in therapy. It's almost certain you may find it difficult to talk at times, and you may dislike what your therapist says and does at times.
However, this is different to a constant and ongoing feeling of decline in your life because of therapy.
It's worth stating clearly - therapy should not stir up negativity and shouldn't be relentlessly pessimistic about the future. Therapy is not about digging into what hurts the most and claiming this will help.
If you're dreading therapy and feel constant anxiety throughout sessions, something is wrong.
What to do if therapy makes you feel worse?
One option is to talk to your therapist and explain that you feel worse. I know this can be really hard and feel like a horrible fight could happen, but you have the right to speak up and your therapist should listen to you. That's their job after all! Your therapist will have the chance to apologise if they've made a bad judgement (which is probably the case). In the case that you speak with your therapist and you make the informed decision and feel confident that therapy is not the reason you feel worse, this could lead to a useful conversation about your life and situation and new insights could come to light.
If talking doesn't feel possible, that's understandable. You don't have to say anything you don't want to!
Another option is to simply stop therapy and stop seeing your therapist. Stopping therapy altogether is a valid and acceptable option. If you didn't want to stop altogether, however, you can try another therapeutic approach or the same therapeutic approach with another therapist. There are many approaches and many therapists, many of which will be ready and willing to welcome you onboard.
There is always the option to escalate your concerns and talk to the organisation where you met your therapist. The organisation should listen to you and in my experience many are excellent at dealing with complaints with great care because a complaint is usually made following a grave error or nasty incident.
Therapy can be difficult and unpleasant at times, which is why your therapist should create a safe, secure space for you! They should put you at ease!
Therapy should NOT make you feel worse!
Written by Lily Llewellyn
25th October 2024
Lily is a psychotherapist trained and educated in person-centred counselling and a trained life coach. Her areas of interest include our relationships with ourselves and others as well as the ways in which we relate to objects, such as food and money, and activities, such as shopping and work.
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