This is a question I was asked recently. My client was offered a course of free cognitive behavioural therapy by their GP and asked me to explain how it works. Since the therapy was offered on the NHS and therefore free, my client asked if they could go for it and still remain in therapy with me, and a discussion about seeing more than one therapist arose. Naturally (loving a question) I had a think since the reasons why someone may want more than one as well as the reasons a therapist may want exclusivity are not so straightforward.
In fact I saw a comment online written by someone who wants to have two therapists arguing that if a therapist insists on exclusivity, they're keeping the whole "therapy-as-mystery and power imbalance going."
Ouch.
This sounds like a poor experience of therapy and if therapy were kept a mystery or tangled up in power imbalances, then there's a serious issue there and folks should leave their therapist ASAP. I hope nobody feels powerless and in the dark with their therapist!
Yet with that, a good therapist may say they require their clients not to have more than one therapist. But let's get into it...
Why someone may want two?
There are reasons why you may want to see more than one therapist. Maybe...
You're offered free therapy and want to make use of the opportunity
You want more than one perspective
You want more than one experience
You want a "general" therapist and a specialist
Double the care and attention (no shame)
And these reasons are valid. Honestly, if my client wanted to see me and someone else because they could or wanted to, it's not an easy, straightforward "no". I want the best for my clients so if seeing me and someone else is what works for them, should I stop them?
Although there are reasons to only see one too...
Clashing of perspectives and ideas
Therapy is team work. Your therapist will offer their thoughts and perspectives, and this is a big part of why people seek out therapy. Yet different therapists will have different views and suggestions of how to accept parts of life that could get confusing for you. An effect of this is that...
Goals, planning are compromised
You and your therapist will make goals and plans for therapy and work to achieve them. If you have two sets of goals which contrast and clash, we have a problem. For instance, with one therapist you may plan to work on understanding why you do a certain something. Whereas with another therapist you work on changing it. This isn't helpful since therapists and goals need to have full pictures of yourself and your situation. Which leads to...
Each therapist would only get half a picture
With one therapist you talk about why you do certain things and the other ways to change. But both are equally important - if you want to change, you need to know why you do what you do. And if you want to know why you do things, wanting to change them influences how you understand it. Therapists need to see the full picture and you're not helping them to help you by not being fully transparent.
You can't compartmentalise yourself
Note, many(!) therapists take the view that you cannot separate out parts of your life and parts of yourself. It's not the case that you can separately tackle, say, poor sleeping habits, poor spending habits, self-esteem, and relationships - because they are all connected. Dealing with one matter with one person and another with someone else doesn't work. Literally.
You'd be repeating yourself
Say you don't mind all the above and you still want try having two different therapist. To make it work, you'd have to repeat yourself/ your full picture to both therapists and potentially tell one what the other says. Could this be super boring and tedious?
You're stuck in the middle, wandering around going nowhere
Of course all of the above could make you feel more confused and anxious than when you entered therapy. You could be stuck in the middle of conflicting views, more confused of who you are and lost for direction. It could be a potentially chaotic scenario.
There are legal reasons too
Not to get too serious, but there are legal reasons why therapists won't see a client who sees more than one therapist. Say a therapist is ordered by a judge (the only person who can enforce) to disclose therapy notes and the therapy process and must justify what happened and why in therapy (this really is worst case scenario but it does happen) - a therapist and the whole system is in very unclear waters if a client had two counsellors and two therapeutic processes. It's a giant mess and many won't go near it.
But, you may be wondering...
What about seeing an individual therapist and a couple's therapist?
And you're right. Having an individual therapist and couple's therapist is super common and even recommended. The reason is - it's exactly that. A therapist for yourself as an individual focusing on your own stuff. And a therapist for your relationship, that is, you and someone else together and everything the relationship entails. Two separate individuals coming together to make a couple. Individual and part of a couple. Normal.
In sum...
Many therapists will not be available to see a client for individual therapy who is also engaging in therapy with another professional. This is majorly for the client's benefit, but also to cover themselves legally.
But importantly, know that you are able to get the (one) right therapist for you. Someone who meets all your needs - who can give you more than one perspective, more than one experience, can work "generally" and as a specialist, and can give you a double dose of care and attention.
Talk to your therapist, communicate about what you want and don't want so that they can give it to you.
If it's just not working, move on if you must. End the relationship and find a new therapist.
And lastly, if you want/are going to have two therapists, make sure they know about each other. Tell them this is what you're doing so at least they can knowingly choose if they can work with you.
Written by Lily Llewellyn
6th February 2023
Lily is a psychotherapist trained and educated in person-centred counselling to master's level and achieved an MA in anthropology. Her areas of interest include our relationships with ourselves and others as well as the ways in which we relate to objects, such as food and money, and activities, such as shopping and work.
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