Recently somebody asked me if they can ask their therapist where they are going with therapy.
(I love a question), and the answer is YES!
It's important to remember there are very few questions you shouldn't ask your therapist - don't be shy, folks. But in this case, this is a great question and therapists are always happy to talk about where therapy might be going.
However, note that your therapist knows as little about the future as you do.
Your therapist can't tell you where you might be going in life. It would be magic (and creepy) if they started to tell you what your future looks like. But they are there to help you figure things out and stay with you if you want someone close. They are there to facilitate your process, which is where collaboration happens.
Together, you can...
Talk about the logic and process
A therapist's job is to know the theories and logic underlying what happens in therapy. Since this is what is guiding them, they should be open and honest about what they do in the counselling room and why.
Set goals
Everyone has a reason why they are in therapy, whether it's a clear vision of where they want to be or simply a desire to be anywhere but where they are today. Having goals will allow a destination to be in mind and will help guide the journey there. Don't worry if the goals change (that's quite normal). Just keep your therapist informed about what the goals are.
Have regular reviews
Any therapist worth their salt will be checking in with you to know how you're doing in therapy. Have your goals changed? Are you getting what you want? Are you working well together? Would a different approach work better for you and your developing needs? Having these conversations is like a spring clean - they help to clear the path ahead.
Talk about the end
Although it may not always seem necessary, don't forget to discuss with your counsellor how and when you want things to end. When is enough? What does success in therapy look like to you? The end is a part of the journey and knowing where you each stand regarding your relationship helps to give a sense of security or assurance of where you are both going.
You're in it together, working out issues and goals as you go. Talking about where you are both going with therapy builds a strong team.
Written by Lily Llewellyn
31st October 2022
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