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Writer's picturelilyllewellyn

67 Questions to Ask Yourself About Starting Therapy WHEN YOU’VE NEVER HAD THERAPY BEFORE

Reaching out for therapy can be a daunting experience!  It can help to know what you want from therapy as much as you possible can, but also don't be shy or worried if you have no idea what support looks like either - that’s totally normal too!


Let's dive into 67 Questions to consider...


Your Expectations


It’s natural and common to have expectations with and for therapy before you first reach out.  You’ll have ideas about what therapy is, even if these are fair or not, and ideas about what you want to get from sessions.  It’s worth considering what you are expecting from the outset...


  1. What do you understand about therapy at the moment?


  2. Where have you learnt what therapy is?


  3. Even though you’ve never had therapy before, how has your experience with therapy in general been?


  4. Have people you know had therapy and what have their experiences been?


  5. Have people you know impacted your understanding and expectations of therapy?


  6. What do you expect therapy to be like?


  7. What do you expect therapy NOT to be like?


  8. Would you like to expect to do, say or feel something in particular from therapy, if so what would you like?


  9. What would you like to expect to take something away from therapy?


  10. Do you expect your life to change from therapy?


  11. Do you expect any quick changes or slow changes?


  12. Do you expect to be a different person or to have a “cure”?


  13. How can you tell the therapist what you would like to expect from them and from therapy?


  14. What are you expecting to be your “role” in therapy and the therapist’s “role”?


  15. What do feel the therapist is going to expect from you?


  16. If you chose to tell others, do you expect people in your life will treat you differently once you enter therapy?


  17. If you chose to tell others, do you expect people in your life will have new expectations of you once you enter therapy?


  18. Do you expect to be mocked or teased for being in therapy?


  19. Do you expect to be treated as “weak” or “incapable” for being in therapy?



Support


When you first reach out for therapy, you can expect a therapist - good therapist at least - to ask to know a little about you and if you know how you would like to be supported, because they’ll feel this will help them best support you.  Maybe not easy, but consider thinking about what support may look like for you...


  1. Do you have a sense of what support looks like for you? (totally fine if not)


  2. Would support be patience and calm for you?


  3. Would support be suggestions?


  4. Would support be education?


  5. Would support be humour?


  6. Would support be humour-free? 


  7. Would support come with accountability?


  8. Would support be “just” a space to be?


  9. Is there anything that you absolutely do NOT want to happen to you in terms of support?


  10. Would you prefer to dive right into topics?


  11. Do you feel that you need to dive right to topics because of limited time, money or something else?


  12. How could you tell you therapist what support would look like or not look like for you?



Approaches to Therapy


There is a huge variety of styles and approaches to therapy - it could be a bit overwhelming!  But there is something for everyone. Please don’t feel you need to stick with the first therapy or therapist! To know if the approach is how you expect to be supported, consider these questions for yourself and then perhaps for a therapist...


  1. Would you like the therapist to let you freely talk about what you want to talk about?


  2. Would you prefer not to have “talking therapy” at all?


  3. Would you prefer that the therapist decides what happens / topic of conversation?


  4. Would you like to be taught in therapy?


  5. Would you like to know the root causes?


  6. Would you like to have solutions?


  7. Would you like to have techniques?


  8. Would you prefer to have an action plan?


  9. Would you like to exclusively talk about the past?


  10. Would you like to focus on your childhood?


  11. Would you like to focus on what you feel is trauma?


  12. Would you like to focus on the future?


  13. Would you like the chance to use the session to explore the past, present or future however you like?


  14. Would you like to focus specially on feelings or on sensations in your body?


  15. Would you like to explore dreams?


  16. Would you like to be able to ask about the therapist’s experience?


  17. Would you like the therapist to be like a “blank screen”?


  18. Would you like the therapist to facilitate exercises with you / on you, or not?


  19. Would you like the therapist to facilitate hypnosis on you?



The Therapist


The person who the therapist is is pretty important in therapy.  After all, you are both a team (in my opinion/approach) and they are the person who will get to know you.  You may have particular things you’re looking for in this person...


  1. Would you like to know the therapist has had the same experience as you?


  2. Would you like them to be a specific sex or gender?


  3. Would you like them to be in a certain age range?


  4. Would you prefer to have therapy in a particular language?


  5. Would you prefer to meet with a therapist with whom there’s almost 0% change you’d ever bump into in the street?



Questions You May Have


When you reach out for therapy to a service or an independent therapist, you may have questions you’d like to ask them.  Don’t hesitate to ask as many questions as you like!  These questions below may help to think about what you may want to ask...


  1. Would you like to know about availability and times you can meet?


  2. Would you like to know if there’s a possibility the therapist will need to take a break?


  3. Would you like to know how easy it would be to change therapists?


  4. Would you like to know about payment plans or concession fees?


  5. Would you like to know about cancellation policies?


  6. Would you like to know if you can contact your therapist between sessions?


  7. Would you like to know if you can have long term or short term sessions?


  8. Would you like to know how quickly you may be able to have a “last-minute” session?


  9. Would you like to know about the therapist’s work experience and if they have experience supporting somebody like yourself?


  10. Would you like to know why the therapist decided to do the work they do?


  11. Would you like to know about confidentiality rights and limitations?


  12. Would you like to know about how your data is sorted?


To have therapy with me, Lily, please drop me an email and I will send you over more information, a few questions and we will set up a call to chat more before you commit to having a session.


Speak soon!



Written by Lily Llewellyn


15th November 2024


Lily is a psychotherapist trained and educated in person-centred counselling and a trained life coach.




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